Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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