i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
