in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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