He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
