Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
