well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
