I got chris browned last night
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
