So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My cat gives me a boner
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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