Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i will never coherently bang her
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
