why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
