So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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