Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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