Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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