i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
