I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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