Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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