Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
