I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
