just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
