he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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