I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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