dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
