She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
please come you make the beer taste better
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
