you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
All the doctor said was why
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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