some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Banned from zoo.
Again?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
