omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
