Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize