So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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