the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The ass gains better be worth it
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