theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
