Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
