Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
