I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
