did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
