He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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