imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
