Sacagawea was the original milf.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
