Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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