***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
