Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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