It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize