my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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