Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
