How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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