I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
