Will you blow on my dice?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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