im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
