i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
