This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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