How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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