Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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