Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he fucked my hip out of place.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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