Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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